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The Fist Lays the Smackdown for 10/23/09 |
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THE FIST LAYS THE SMACKDOWN! First, let me just say that Captain Lou Albano will be missed. He may not have been a reknowned wrestler, but as a manager and personality, he was one of the best... Easily in the top 10. RIP man. Chris Jericho makes his way down to the ring to regale us about how SmackDown's group of 7 got WORKED on Raw. He's not pleased with their performance at all. However, JTG makes a special interruption. As JTG lets everyone know that he is awesome, Vickie comes to the ring to advertise her boy... *throws up a little in her mouth* boyfriend. Apparently he needs to prove his worth too. After he introduces himself, Dolph Ziggler comes down to let everyone know that 'HE'S' the one who's gonna lead the Smackdown Seven to victory. THEN Drew McIntyre comes down to the ring to let them all know that he is the savior of the SmackDown Seven. Of course, then Kane comes down to clear everything up. He tells his group of cronies that it's time for them to be fierce. Jericho gives the 4 idiots in the ring that they need to be truly worthy. It's time for a 4 on 5 match, from the losers of last week. MATCH #1 THE HART DYNASTY, MATT HARDY, R-TRUTH, AND FINLAY VS. JTG, DREW McINTYRE, DOLPH ZIGGLER, AND ERIC ESCOBAR Kidd and JTG start us off, with JTG getting the edge, but after a near fall, Finlay gets tagged in. Meanwhile, Dolph gets tagged in himself and he takes control. A miss from a diving splash from Dolph to Finlay in the corner launches Dolph out of the ring. This leads us into... COMMERCIAL BREAK! When you see two ladies fighting over something... Anything really... DO *NOT* GET INVOLVED. It's just like two rabid dogs battling over the same soup bone. It's just a bad idea. You're gonna get bit, and you'll wish you hadn't done it. Seriously. Don't do it. We return to see Eric Escobar with a reverse headlock locked in on Finlay. Finlay almost gets out, only to have McIntyre get tagged in to beat on Finlay some more. A tag into Dolph gets some more isolation of Finlay. Dolph gets cocky and lands a sucker punch to one of his rivals outside the ring, which gives Finlay the chance to tag in Matt Hardy. Hardy lands a Side Effect on Dolph, but team 'heel' come in to break it up. Chaos ensues, and while the ref is distracted with everyone being flung into and out of the ring, the legal men are JTG and Matt Hardy. As JTG goes for the Pay Dirt, Finlay rolls in and cracks JTG in the leg with a Shaleighleigh, giving Matt the chance for a Twist Of Fate, and the win. WINNERS - THE HART DYNASTY, MATT HARDY, R-TRUTH, AND FINLAY Match Rating - 6/10 A fair amount of action, despite the possibility for complete and utter boredom. CM Punk is backstage giving his pre-match pep talk to the refereee for his Submission match tonight with the Undertaker. The ref is sad about his reputation, and Teddy is sad that he might get his face kicked in by the Undertaker. As the Ref tries to walk out, Vince interrupts him and lets him know that "We need to talk." MATCH #2 JOHN MORRISON VS. MIKE KNOX Knox fires off with his diving crossbody, and maintains the pressure on Morrison from the start. A rib breaker, and then an abdominal stretch later, Morrison begins to fire back with some strikes and a chop block. Knox counters a charge with a fierce big boot, and Knox tries for another flying cross body, but Morrison ducks under it. One Starship Pain later, Morrison gets the 1,2,3. WINNER - JOHN MORRISON Match Rating - 4/10 Kinda short, and didn't really do MUCH. However, it seemed to be a cheap excuse to get Morrison the microphone. Morrison takes that mic and lets everyone know that he's fighting The Miz. The Marty Jeneti of his former tag team. Oh, did you know that Morrison is the Friday Night Delight? Jericho and Kane see the newly formed SmackDown Seven, and give them a nice pep talk. However, it turns out the NEW SmackDown Seven chose give the pep talk to Kane and Jericho instead. Mickie James and Mae Young are chatting backstage, until Michelle McCool comes and starts talking trash. Apparently Mickie thinks she's gonna be the new Women's champ. Just as she leaves, Beth Phoenix shows up to tell Michelle that she'll be losing her title soon. When Mae Young told Michelle that she got told, Michelle mouths off. Mae slaps the taste out of Michelle's mouth. Batista and Rey are backstage talking about last weeks main event, where they fought each other. Batista had his shoulder up, but Rey didn't see it up. I don't see how, since it elevated him about a foot from the ground... Oh, and then they start pimping out Batista's DVD. Friendly banter about who's gonna win the World Title at Bragging Rights, and then they get ready to face their foes. MATCH #3 REY MYSTERIO AND BATISTA VS. CHRIS JERICHO AND KANE Jericho starts against Batista and gives him a mocking slap. This, of course, gets Batista on a rampage which gets Jericho busted up. Batista tags in Rey, who does a baseball slide into Jericho's 'Secret'. Rey lands a drop toe hold on Jericho and as he runs for the 619, Kane grabs Rey's foot and throws him out of the ring. As Rey lies on the ground, this makes way for... COMMERCIAL BREAK!!! A wise person once said "In the eyes of a cat, the cat owns everything." Well, we here at Fist Industries believe we do, in fact, own everything. That's why we're offering a brilliant product we like to call "Windows 6+1". It's JUST like Windows 7, except it's not named the same, and we get the money for it. Brilliant right! So, go out today to you local electronic's store and ask for Windows 6+1 today, or I will find you. Seriously. I'll do it. I mean it. I'm not kidding around. Also, bring money. Kane and Jericho are dominating Rey, until Rey dodges a clothesline and gets a bulldog in on Jericho. He would make the tag, but Jericho recovers first and tags in Kane who attacks Batista to prevent the hot tag. Kane tags Jericho back in who does a impressive stalling suplex (with a little flex of his muscles WHILE doing it for kicks) for a two count. Jericho tries for a turnbuckle powerbomb, but Rey turns it into a hurricanrana that tosses Jericho out of the ring. Both men tag at the same time, but Batista gets the upperhand. He lands a diving shoulderblock on Kane, and a spinebuster. He sets Kane up for the Batistabomb, but Jericho makes the save with an enzuigiri. Batista recovers enough to give Jericho an spinebuster of his own. Kane lands a big boot and throws Batista into the corner post shoulder first. Kane sets up the Chokeslam, but Rey jumps on his arm and gets Chokeslamed for his trouble. Kane turns around to recieve a spear from Batista who gets the pin and the win. WINNERS - BATISTA AND REY MYSTERIO Match Rating - 7/10 Not too shabby. Not to shabby at all. Vince McMahon, The Ref, CM Punk, and Teddy Long are all backstage talking about how great this match is going to be, and how it would be so bad if something happened to 'adversely affect the outcome this match in any way.' Vince let's the ref know that his father could be up for the Wrestling Hall Of Fame.... What a big deal this match will be though, seriously! MATCH #4 MICKIE JAMES VS. LAYLA Screaming, Hair, a couple of poorly done drop kicks.... Guess what? WINNER - MICKIE JAMES Match Rating - 2/10 Perhaps compared to the other super-thin Diva's, Mickie is a little thicker, but by no means is a size 6 fat. A wonderful tribute to Captain Lou Albano from the WWE universe came after the crapfest that was the Women's match. It was lovely though. Super Mario Brothers Super Show FOR LYFE! Then a ten minute montage to Cena vs. Orton's ironman match and rivalry. It's not my show, so it's not my problem. CM Punk comes down to the ring, with Teddy Long and the referee and lets everyone know how excited he is to make the Undertaker tap out a second time! Woo! Time for the match. MATCH #5 CM PUNK VS. THE UNDERTAKER Undertaker starts the match with a series of punches to poor little Punk. Undertaker tries for an Elbow Drop, but Punk quickly rolls out of the way and tries to apply the Anaconda Vice, but the Undertaker quickly gets himself out of that one. Both men fling themselves outside the ring, but the Undertaker just keeps striking Punk over and over. He eventually rolls Punk back into the ring, and as the Undertaker tries for a running dropkick to Punk, he gets out of the way and pulls the Undertaker out of the ring. Punk uses the steel steps for some extra damage, and rolls him back into the ring. Punk tries for something from the top rope, but the Undertaker catches him one hand, but Punk kicks his way out of a BAD place. They begin to trade hits, but Undertaker comes out ahead. A Snake Eyes, into a Big Boot, into a Leg Drop almost lets the Taker lock in the Hell's Gate, but Punk rolls out and away before he loses. Undertaker tries for walk on ropes, but Punk pulls Taker down instead. Punk then demands that Teddy Long hands him the chair he's sitting in. Teddy, timidly, hands the chair to the ref instead.... 'It's your problem now!" Punk takes the chair from the ref, and gets it kicked into his face. Undertaker sees the ref, and chokeslams him. Then, the Undertaker starts stalking Teddy, but Punk slams Taker with the chair 3 times. He tries to stir the ref, but to no avail. He calls for a new ref to come in as Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice. Just as the ref arrives, Taker counters the Vice and locks in Hell's Gate for the win. WINNER - THE UNDERTAKER Match Rating - 6/10 Undertaker uses the rest of the show to pose, while Punk sits in horror from the Hell's Gate. SHOW RATING - 7/10 I am The Fist, and I am BACK! Views: 487 
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COMMENTS |
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Comment # 1
good show, good review...FIRST
Posted by BigDom on Monday, October 26, 2009
Comment # 2
2nd again?
Posted by damn on Monday, October 26, 2009
Comment # 3
this is late... You're supposed to have these reports on Saturdays, max. How do you watch them?
Posted by 123kid on Monday, October 26, 2009
Comment # 4
I enjoyed learning how to do the mario for the 90th time!
(Swing your arm in front of you-..... DAMN!)
Posted by EddieRox on Monday, October 26, 2009
Comment # 5
123 - I send the article to someone else, who checks over it for length and content. I send it to them before noon 2 days after it airs (so for SmackDown, it's Sunday) Server time. Now, *I* get the show on Saturday at 6 a.m. Server time (Since I'm like 9 hours behind the server) which gives me less than 30 hours to watch, put together, and hand in that article. If I had *ZERO* life, this would be cake.
However, I enjoy what I do, so I take my time with it and make it enjoyable for everyone.
Then, after I send it in, it takes time for the powers that be to look it over and put it up on the site. It's ON TIME if he posts it. If it were truly late, it wouldn't be here. (As with my article from last week, which was all my fault.)
Besides, if you have an issue with it, you're free to send a PM to Mr. Indianapolis over on TWG to either complain or show him you can do better. Best of luck to you on both counts though.
Posted by Madam Snapshot on Monday, October 26, 2009
Comment # 6
Damn indy is a cuntbag
Posted by HSR on Monday, October 26, 2009
Comment # 7
natalya had awesome boobs
Posted by sdrfgzsdrfzxc on Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Comment # 8
Yay, crazy spammers! I love this part.
What does Indy have to do with anything?
See, I don't pay attention to boobs....maybe because it's wrestling and not Playboy. *shrugs*
Posted by St. Anarchy on Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Comment # 9
Great Article Snaps... As always.
The Powers That Be? More like The Powers That Sit On Their BEhinds...
Just thought I'd throw in a joke...
Posted by Your Boss on Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Comment # 10
nice wrestling my parents dont let me watch but i csn read know
Posted by reyjo on Friday, November 06, 2009
