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The Fist Lays the Smackdown for 09/25/09 |
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THE FIST LAYS THE SMACKDOWN! Yet another montage about how the Undertaker got screwed out of the title, and how he kidnapped Teddy Long during last weeks Smackdown (Which you can read all about in my last week's article) When that's done, CM Punk comes down to down to the ring to say a few things, of course they start out with "Peons! Stop paying pharmacies with your ill gotten gains, and start living like a great awesome guy like me! Oh, remember how I got rid of Hardy? That was awesome, right? I know I am! And then I beat the Undertaker with the Anaconda Vice! I made him tap! Otherwise, how would I be champ? I wonder who I'll be facing next? Oh, that's right, I BEAT everyone you've got Smackdown!" The lights dim and a group of robed people bring a coffin down to the ring. They sure take their sweet time too. While they leave the coffin behind, Punk gets a chair and prepares to defend himself. The robed people leave the coffin as Punk slams the chair on the coffin itself. He meekly opens the coffin to find Teddy Long in the coffin tied up. Punk takes the time to mock Teddy before untying him and bringing him back into the ring. Teddy unbans the Hell's Gate Submission hold. Oh, and Punk fights the Undertaker tonight. He staggers out of the ring while Punk "gets over it" in the ring. MATCH #1 JOHN MORRISON & FINLAY VS. MIKE KNOX & DOLPH ZIGGLER Wow, how can we work two separate feuds at once? This is how! Oh boy! I'm So pleased! Finlay starts against Ziggler, who quickly gets overrun with Ziggler and Knox separating him from Morrison. Ziggles locks in a headlock just in time for... COMMERCIAL BREAK! Some of you think these commercial breaks are boring. Some of you think they're the best things ever. I think they're in here to keep me interested in doing these articles, and keeping you somewhat entertained while reading them. However, if enough of you ask me to stop, I will. Post those comments afterwords and we'll make a decision together. Knox is holding on to Finlay with a headlock now, but as Finlay uses a jawbreaker to almost get away, but Knox rips Finlay away for MORE separation. More headlocks later, Finlay eventually dodges a elbow splash to the corner from Ziggles getting a fresh tag from both men. Morrison does a dropkick, and standing shooting star press for a 2 count. Knox lands a kick on Morrison, and goes for a pin attempt, but Morrison hangs onto the bottom rope. Knox sees Finlay and hits him instead of finishing off Morrison, giving Morrison enough time for a springboard inzugiri. He gets a two count for it, as Ziggles makes the save. Knox tries for his flying crossbody on Morrison, but he ducks, so it hits Ziggler in the ring instead, flattening him. Knox picks up Morrison and shoulder charges him into the corner. Finlay gets the Shaleighleigh and hits Knox in the head, putting him in perfect position for Morrison's Starship Pain. That's the match. WINNERS - FINLAY AND JOHN MORRISON Match Rating - 5/10 Started out slow and obnoxious. Too many 'one kick, then tag into a hold' situations for the first 5 minutes. Blech. Cryme Tyme is backstage with... Slam... Master J... *shudder*. They let him know that, if he wants to 'roll with Cryme Tyme, you gotsta prove yo'self.' JTG hands Slam Master a red spray paint can. He runs into a nearby room and he ganks some DVD's and defaces Teddy Long's Office. Teddy comes back and catches Slam Master red handed... After Cryme Tyme runs off, of course. What's this? Now he has a match for vandalism? He should have been doing that all this time then. MATCH #2 SLAM MASTER J VS. KANE Well, I'm glad it's not Khali anymore. Kane starts the match three hits, and then with a Chokeslam, it's over. WINNER - KANE Match Rating - Squash Matches Do Not Get Ratings. It was over before it began. Cryme Tyme wasn't impressed by J's performance. To be honest, neither was I. CM Punk catches Vince McMahon backstage, and asks him 'Are you going to let this happen?' Vince then says 'Maybe you should have thought about that during you and Teddy's conspiracy." Punk looks dumbfounded as McMahon re-iterates it's most certainly not HIS conspiracy. Nuh uh. Vince comes out to the ring with a big announcement. Apparently, next week will be the 10 year Smackdown Reunion. He then announces a "Future World Heavyweight Champion", Drew McIntyre. McIntyre takes the mic as Vince leaves the ring. He lets everyone know that while next week is the history of 10 years of SmackDown, it's going to be a decade of him from then on. R-Truth decides to come down to ringside via the crowd, preventing Drew from kicking him in the face to end the theme song too quickly. Truth decides that his greeting to Smackdown is a couple of punches while the refs separate them. MATCH #3 BIG SHOW (W/ CHRIS JERICHO) VS. BATISTA Show starts with pushing Batista around and posing, while Jericho yells at the crowd and into JR's headpiece that Show is "breaking him in two." Batista lands a few strikes before bouncing off of him with a failed shoulder block. Show misses a running knee to Batista, getting himself caught in the ropes, and Batista does another jumping shoulder block, but this time knocking him out of the ring. Which brings us to... COMMERCIAL BREAK! The say that mice are chased by cats. They say cats are chased by dogs. What are dogs chased by? The 2010 Fist Land Cruiser, equipped with tazers, lasers, and spikes. When nature wants to run at your car, make sure it's your car that wins. We return to Show locking on a headlock on Batista while Jericho mocks him from outside the ring. Batista powers out, and tries for another shoulder block but Show catches him into a bear hug. Show goes for a second rope press onto Batista, but of course, he rolls out of the way. Batista lands a spear on Show, and goes for a Batista Bomb, but Show gets out and goes for a chokeslam, only to get countered himself as Batista locks in an ankle lock. Jericho jumps in to save his partner, forcing the ref to make with the DQ. WINNER BY DQ - BATISTA Match Rating - 4/10 The match length might LOOK impressive, but it was nothing to write home about. Batista lets go of Show and locks the ankle lock on Jericho, who taps out almost immediately, but Batista does not let go. Both Show and Jericho wail about with their ankles sore. Teddy Long looks like crap as he is greeted by Vince back in his office. He lets everyone know it's bad that those other people betrayed Undertaker, and not him... Also, he sees that Slam Master vandalized McMahon's picture back in Teddy's office. Yeah, that ended well. MATCH #4 JTG (W/ Shad Gaspar and Eve Torres) VS. DAVID HART SMITH (w/ Natalya and Tyson Kidd) JTG starts off with a fiery offense, but Smith quickly recovers and starts slinging JTG around like a rag doll. JTG dodges a turnbuckle charge, and lands his second rope leg drop and goes for a cover. However, Natalya puts Smiths leg on the bottom rope, forcing the count to stop. Eve starts wailing on Natalya, and Shad pulls Eve off of her. Which gives Tyson a chance to land a dropkick to JTG's head. Smith picks him up and lands a 3/4 Suplex on JTG for the 3 count. WINNER - DAVID HART SMITH Match Rating - 4/10 Kinda short, kinda meh. But at least it wasn't just fluff. Batista makes himself a tag team. It's a tag match at Hell In The Cell for the titles. Rey Mysterio Jr and Batista as tag partners again. It's like it's right out of SmackDown Vs. Raw 2009! I wonder if it'll end the same way. MATCH #5 CM PUNK VS. UNDERTAKER Undertaker corners Punk and lands a few knees, but Punk counters with a few kicks of his own before the ref pulls Punk off of the Undertaker. Undertaker recovers and tosses Punk out of the ring, giving me time for... COMMERCIAL BREAK! Sushi is awesome. That is all. Punk comes back with a few kicks against Undertaker, before Punk gets tossed outside the ring again. Undertaker catches Punk by the head and guillotine's him on the ropes and lands a leg drop upon Punk head as he lay halfway out of the ring. Undertaker goes for the Walk On Ropes, but Punk counters and tries for his own Superplex, but Undertaker punches his way out. Punk catches Undertaker while still on the turnbuckle and goes for, and lands the Superplex for a 2 count. Punk lands a figure four headlock, but Undertaker locks on a chokeslam. Punk kicks his way out before the move lands. Both men start exchanging blows, but the Undertaker comes out ahead before landing a Snake Eyes into a Big Boot on Punk for a 2 count. Undertaker goes for the Chokeslam, but Punk lands a kick to Undertaker's head to get out. Undertaker locks in the Hells Gate as Punk clings to the ropes. Punk rolls out of the ring and grabs his belt. Undertaker gives chase and sets Punk up for the Last Ride, but Punk shimmies down and slides back into the ring as the ref counts out TEN. WINNER - CM PUNK Match Rating - 6/10 Is it sad that I think this was the best match of the night, despite the ending? Oh well. Punk grabs his belt and books it to the top of the ramp to pose in triumph, leaving Undertaker all emo in the ring. SHOW RATING - 4/10 Nothing truly great, but at least there was no Diva Match. I'll see you all next week! Views: 563 
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COMMENTS |
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Comment # 1
good report i hope batista and rey win
Posted by FK or Nik Storm on Monday, September 28, 2009
Comment # 2
I hope they don't. I saw that on SmackDown Vs. Raw 2009. It ends poorly. lol
Posted by Madam Snapshot on Monday, September 28, 2009
Comment # 3
U ma'am, win life for making SVR reference to the fail that will surely follow.
Posted by Jack Jones on Monday, September 28, 2009
Comment # 4
just on your Ads:
there funny, so keep then. You should get rid of the Smackdown review for I don't care, and it take some valued place from your ads.
Seriously.
Posted by Pearson on Monday, September 28, 2009
Comment # 5
Ok Madam, don't get to excited but I think you have become my second all time favourite reviewer. Nobody can beat The Glide.
Posted by The Bad Guy on Monday, September 28, 2009
Comment # 6
Get rid of the ads? But your commercials are the best part!
Posted by Jobber Joe on Monday, September 28, 2009
Comment # 7
Nice review - the ads were kinda weak this week ;)
Posted by Beastardo on Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Comment # 8
do rey and batista have a finisher what is it
a seated senton when the animal has the opponent up for a batista bomb or maybe a 619 spinbuster combo
Posted by matt on Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Comment # 9
I thought the Taker vs. Punk match deserved a better rating and David Hart Smtih vs. JTG was decent, but thats just me. I hope Batista and Rey don't win the tag titles, and if they are, don't let them win it right away.
Posted by Knuckles on Tuesday, September 29, 2009
