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The Fist Lays the Smackdown! for 09/18/09 |
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THE FIST LAYS THE SMACKDOWN Apparently, they just give away PPV spoilers as the first moments of Smackdown... Something about a Montreal Screwjob? Teddy Long slowly exits from his limo outside, and is escorted into the arena with a horde of bodyguards. Seems he's worried about something? Making the Undertaker mad? Batista makes his Smackdown debut (re-debut?) to the screams (cries?) of all the fans in the arena tonight. After seeing what led him to our meager little show, he addresses the people. He claims SmackDown is the "A" show. Upon those poorly chosen words, Jericho comes down to the ring to greet him! Aww, how sweet. I know this will end with a big hug! After accusing Batista of being an accident and injury prone loser, he reminds everyone that Jericho is *THE* face of SmackDown. Batista fires back with a request for 'old times.' He then lands a Spinebuster on Jericho just to let him know that he's facing Jericho tonight. Jericho runs backstage to tell Big Show "Mommy! I skinned my knee." Big Show just kinda lets him know that he doesn't care. Dolph Ziggler has joined the announcers booth for the following match. MATCH #1 JOHN MORRISON VS MIKE KNOX Aww, jobber versus Superstar. Knox starts off with a few bumps here and there, but Morrison quickly uses his evasion techniques to land a few jumping spinning kicks on Knox. Knox recovers to get himself thrown out of the ring, when Morrison lowers the top rope. Morrison follows it up with a springboard moonsault to Knox outside, which leads to.... COMMERCIAL BREAK! The Fist brand stemware is among some of the classiest drinking implements out there. It sure beats drinking out of a diamond studded 3 inch pump. That's all we're saying... Oh, and that there probably isn't a smelly foot in there either. Knox locks Morrison into a rear chinlock onto Morrison. As Morrison tries to get up, Knox pushes Morrison to the ropes, and kicks him in the back of the head. Knox tries for an atomic drop, but Morrison counters with a tilt a whirl DDT. Morrison lands a dropkick to the knee, then to the head, and follows up with a Standing Shooting Star Press for a two count. Both men get to their feet at the same time, but Knox lands his running crossbody for a two count. Morrison lands a springboard inzugiri and the Starship Pain for a 3 count. WINNER - JOHN MORRISON Match Rating - 6/10 Ziggler has been crying about it being his championship the whole match, but otherwise he was riddled with hypocrisy, so that was nice. Morrison takes a mic to address Ziggler. Morrison replies that the only name that Ziggeler will ever have is Mr. Ziggles! This irritates and frustrates Ziggler out of the arena as everyone calls him Ziggles. They decide the only way to make things right about the Undertaker losing to CM Punk at Breaking Point (which you can read my review of, by the way) is to interview the referee? He alludes that someone else told him to screw over the Undertaker, but mentions no specifics. MATCH #2 MELINA VS. MICHELLE McCOOL Michelle seems to feign a limp, but she seems to be doing just fine. Whenever Melina starts an offense though, Michelle takes the moment to run outside and get a distraction over Melina. Melina did a scream that made my ears bleed a little. I kinda blacked out for a little bit, but I came to as Melina screamed again to land her powerbomb on Michelle for the win. WINNER - MELINA Match Rating - 3/10 Teddy paces uncomfortably as Vince McMahon comes into his office. Vince comes in to make it sound like Teddy is alone responsible for Undertaker being screwed over. He wants Teddy to tell everyone why he did what he did... in the ring. So, Teddy comes down to the ring surrounded by his army of security. He tires to soften everyone up with his "I got Batista back here... Love me?" He then admitted that Undertaker getting screwed over was pre-planned. He's not proud of what he did, of course, but he has to live with it. Much like his referee said though, he uses the Nuremberg defense. That defense is this, "I did it to pay the mortgage." He then apologizes to everyone, especially the Undertaker. This is all to stop Teddy from having his face kicked in. As Teddy gets led to his limo, it's empty. Uh oh! The Undertaker is driving! How could this be?! Doors are locked, and new lights and fog machine... They drive off into the sunset. CM Punk comes down to ringside assailed by boos and jeers from everyone in the arena. "I told ya so!" He tells everyone that he does everything he said he would. He said he'd retire Jeff Hardy, and did so. He said he'd make the Undertaker tap out. He came out to the ring to taunt the Undertaker with his belt, and another I told you so. However, since the Undertaker isn't here, he decides to ridicule everyone's broken bodies and souls. He's a winner because he's straight edge, and they are all losers because they aren't. MATCH #3 CRYME TYME (w/ EVE TORRES) VS. THE HART DYNASTY (/w NATALYA) Oh my, it's like I've NEVER seen this match before. Smith and Shad start us off, with Smith taking charge. Shad counters a whip into the corner with a clothesline. A tag to JTG gets Smith dropkicked to the knee, forcing him to roll out of the ring. Kidd comes in, only to get caught by Shad with a big press slam as we make way for... COMMERCIAL BREAK! Video games are great. Fighting games are better. There's nothing more entertaining than going to an arcade and showing some poor 8 year old that they don't need lunch money anymore. Go to your local arcades, people! And if you see a girl kicking the crap out of some chumps in Street Fighter 4, give her all your money. She deserves it. ^_~ We come back to see Kidd tag out as Smith starts working on Shad. Kidd tags back in with a toe hold as Smith double teams with a drop kick to Shad's head. Smith tags back in as they work on Shad's back, and then locks into a rear shoulderlock. Shad powers out and kicks Smith in the face, but Smith prevents a tag. Kidd gets tagged back in and locks on a headlock. Shad gets a hot tag and he clotheslines Kidd. JTG lands a second rope legdrop for a two count. JTG lands a Paydirt, but Smith makes the save. Then Shad takes Smith outside the ring. Natalya tries to get involved, but Eva stops that by pulling her out. Kidd lands a standing Blockbuster and wins all on his own. WINNERS - THE HART DYNASTY Match Rating - 7/10 This was actually one of the better tag matches between these two. I approve. Melina walks backstage to the Diva's lockerroom, only to find that pictures from last week of Dolph in compomising poses with Michelle McCool are taped all over the walls. Melina starts trying to take them all down, but Maria comes in to see see Melina with all of those pictures in her hands. Maria breaks up with Melina over a clear misunderstanding. Not for reals, they were never going out you pervs. MATCH #4 THE GREAT KHALI VS. KANE Didn't this get resolved at Breaking Point? No? We have to see this match again? Khali stats with some feeble looking kicks and an attempt at a Vice Grip, but Kane rolls out of the ring instead. Kane goes for a chair smashes Khali without a second thought. WINNER - KHALI via DQ Match Rating - You call that a match? Kane drags Khali over to the steel steps and proceeds to smash the top of the steel steps to his knee over and over. Kane, pleased with himself, he walks out. Medics come down to the ring to take Khali away, hopefully forever. Alas, a girl can dream. MATCH #4 or 5? CHARLIE HAAS VS. R-TRUTH'S THEME MUSIC Drew MacIntyre comes out to R-Truth's theme music instead of R-Truth. Drew lets everyone know R-Truth is unable to face Charlie tonight. They shake hands, but then Drew kicks Haas in the stomach and lands his double underhook DDT on Haas. MATCH #5 or 6 or 7? Who knows at this point? CHRIS JERICHO VS. BATISTA Jericho starts off by being caught by Batista with a power slam for a two count. Jericho counters an Irish whip with a pair of dropkicks to Batista's knee. Jericho spends his time attacking the knee of Batista, and then into a rear choke hold. Batista powers out, and lands a sidewalk slam as Jericho tries to crossbody. Jericho counters quickly with a dropkick, and tries for a Lionsault. He lands on his feet though, as Batista moves out of the way. It was for naught though, as Batista lands a spinebuster. Batista tries for his Batista Bomb, but Jericho gets out and counters with a kick to the knees and an Inzugiri for a two count. Jericho goes to the top rope, and as Jericho goes for the drop, Batista counters with a right hand. Batista tries for a spear, but Jericho dodges, and goes for a pin for a 2 count. Batista kicks Jericho, and tries for a Batista Bomb again, but Jericho counters it into a Walls Of Jericho. Batista rolls over though, and throw Jericho into the corner. Jericho tries for a Codebreaker, but Batista counters by catching him and landing a Batista Bomb instead. WINNER - BATISTA Match Rating - 6/10 Kinda short, but who DIDN'T think Batista would win on his debut? The Big Show makes an unofficial challenge to Batista as his partner lies broken in the ring. SHOW RATING - 5/10 It's not bad, but since it's not exactly hyping anything, I didn't expect much. That's it everyone! I'm out of here, and I'll see you next week! Views: 645 
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COMMENTS |
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Comment # 1
1ST comment good as always
Posted by T.R.H on Monday, September 21, 2009
Comment # 2
nuh, second is the best..........good article, ur rite how many matches dont desrve to even be called a match, they should just have promos if they want 2 fill up time...
Posted by some random guy on Monday, September 21, 2009
Comment # 3
3rd is the one with the hairy chest :P I kinda think that this was the worst Smackdown show i've seen in a while but as always goo article Snapples
Posted by "Apocalyptic" Jared Johnson on Monday, September 21, 2009
Comment # 4
Good article as always...
Posted by God on Monday, September 21, 2009
Comment # 5
"MATCH #5 or 6 or 7? Who knows at this point?"
Classic line :)
Posted by Hayden Sikh on Monday, September 21, 2009
Comment # 6
Ehrmm..
Whats so bad about batista coming back to smackdown?
If he and the Undertaker would get in another fued.. Last one was quite good if you ask me
For the rest I mostly agree tough
Posted by ? on Monday, September 21, 2009
Comment # 7
good report. at least you whine about the wrestlers like others. and as for batista coming back, i can do without.
Posted by ManBearPig on Monday, September 21, 2009
Comment # 8
Wow, you suck at writing articles. Never coming back again.
Posted by 81324 on Monday, September 21, 2009
Comment # 9
You suck at writing articles. Do you even know that Batista use to be on Smackdown?
Posted by my opinion on Monday, September 21, 2009
Comment # 10
I think she did, why else would she write "Batista makes his Smackdown debut (re-debut?)"
Hmmm, maybe because she knew he used to be on Smackdown? and he was making a come back onto the same show, meaning it's a Re-Debut...
Good article
Posted by Crazy Steve on Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Comment # 11
@My Opinion
If that was your only problem with the article then maybe you should just reach down behind yourself, pull your head out of your ass since you are desperately in need of air. As Crazy Steve pointed out it was pretty clear that she knew that Batista had been on the show before - hence re-debut.
Posted by Beastardo on Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Comment # 12
this is what i rate this smackdown:
Morisson vs Knox - 6.5/10
Melina vs McCool - 2.8/10
Cryme Tyme vs Hart Dynasty - 7.4/10
Kane vs Khali - 0.1/10
Jericho vs Batista - 6.2/10
Posted by Rofl Kid on Sunday, September 27, 2009
Comment # 13
oh and i also forgot:
SmackDown! match of the night - Cryme Tyme vs Hart Dynasty
and
SmackDud! match of the night - Kane vs Khali
Posted by Rofl Kid on Sunday, September 27, 2009
