ECW Rebound 9/22/09
by: The Philadelphia Phighter
Preshow:
Hello all, and welcome to the ECW Report, brought to you by the Philadelphia Phighter. Let's get into the show.
Actual show:
Tonight's an ECW Championship Match between Zack Ryder and Christian. "Will Zack be able to woo the title away?" - Striker. He's my favorite commentator, by far.
If you do not want to read about the Abraham Washingston show (I feel your pain), just scroll down until I say you can read again. Because it's up first.
Old man alert! Tony Atlas introduces Abraham Washington.
Washington comes out with one of those microphones on his ear as he gets overpushed by Matthews. He's actually getting a little bit of heat. Probably for th- Airhorn totally takes my attention, as he's not doing a nice job of drawing any of it from me.
They flash Applause, and people boo. I'm not quite sure whether or not this is just fail at a gimmick attempt.
"Regardless of what you've heard tonight, we're going to have a great show for you this evening."
ECW Heavyweight Champion? No, ECW Champion. First error, Washington.
Washington: "You make Casper look like a brother." That wasn't that bad...
The rest of this introduction is.
Sheamus strikes back, calling them Sanford and Son.
Tony has the world's MOST ANNOYING LAUGH.
Oh...so we're building Benjamin/Sheamus.
The more I listen to Washington, the more I'm annoyed by his voice.
"Laugh Tony." Second mistake, not sure whether or not Washington or Atlas made the mistake there. Atlas laughs, gets stared at, and Washington breaks the flow to let him keep laughing.
Shelton's line about him being surprised that Washington isn't cancelled yet, is the BEST LINE of the show.
Sheamus gets some heat by calling Americans thieves. Benjamin strikes back with a Braveheart insult.
They show a Sheamus Family Tree, which has Carrot Top, the Wendys' Logo Girl, Pippi Longstocking, and Ronald McDonald.
Sheamus gets pissed when they say his father is McDonald.
Shelton says that Sheamus ought to bring a lunch...because Sheamus will walk to the fight, but he'll limp back.
Atlas takes Shelton's attention which leads to a Sheamus-Shelton brawl before security comes out and separates him. During this entire segment, it seems that Washington cared more about his set than the flow of the show.
Alright, you can continue reading.
Next up is Yoshi Tastu (who I've never seen wrestle) and I'm actually looking forward to it.
Yoshi Tastu vs. Paul Burchill
Paul is out with his lovely "sister" Katie Lea. He's "The Ripper"...(I'd call him the Jobber.)
They show him doing what I call a foldover suplex to the Hurricane, and then standing there trying to look impressive.
Yoshi Tastu, the "Stormshadow", and the captivating young man who has captured the entire WWE Universe.
*bell*
Burchill goes on the offense almost immediately, striking Tatsu before grabbing his arm. He twists it a couple of times before Tastu backflips and shifts the arm hold. Tastu with a side headlock as Striker mentions Burchill's strength...they seem to be of even strength, though. Tastu and Burchill knock into each other before Tatsu sweeps the leg for one.
Burchill whips Tastu into the ropes, and Tastu sunset flips him for another one.
Nice little arm drag, followed by a dropkick, and then a clothesline to knock Burchill outside of the ring. Tastu does a flying crossbody over the ropes and then quickly sends Burchill back into the ring.
Kiss Me Deadly Katie Lea Burchill distracts Yoshi who has climbed to the top rope to shift momentum...Fisherman's Suplex from the top rope! That was the sweetest thing I've seen Burchill do since the Flip Finisher he had! Yoshi and Paul sell it well. Another one.
Body slam, and then Paul jumps and drops his knee onto his shoulder. Two count this time. Burchill lcks in a chinlock, until the Tinkerbell Effect gets Tastu back up. Tastu breaks free and bounces off the ropes...to get met with a Samoan Drop. Two count.
Burchill uses his chinlock again...Tastu gets back up, but gets Half Suplex Bombed. Burchill keeps the hold and also uses his legs for a bodyscissors.
Tastu can't get out of the sleeper Burchill applies, so he walks up the turnbuckles and creates leverage to get a two count on Burchill. Burchill gets back up and starts to use kicks and punches. Tastu counters an irish whip and begins to use a series of kicks, with one epic gut kick at the end.
Tastu uses his Rolling Snapmare to a Thrust Kick to Burchill's gut. Sweet looking Spinning Wheel Kick from Yoshi from the Top for two.
Burchill takes momentum and slams Tastu's head into the turnbuckle. Burchill climbs the ropes with Tastu and shoves Tastu to the mat below. Burchill jumps off and connects on an impressive knee from the top rope for two, and I honestly thought that was his finisher.
Burchill looks like he's about to cry, and he picks Tastu back up and tries to bodyslam. Tastu slips out and shoves Burchill to the turnbuckle, and Burchill catches himself. Burchill gets hit by a neat kick to the mastoid, the hard part behind his ear. Three count, and cue the good times in the arena and the happy music. Yoshi Tastu wins.
Matt Striker embarrasses himself, dancing to the music. His explanation of where Tastu's kick hit made the kick much more impressive.
Winner: Yoshi Tastu
Rating: 6/10
That was a nice match, and it did both men good. It consists of a couple of spots, and it was just nicely put together. The only complaint I have is how fast the action would start after a pinfall.
We are shown Tommy Dreamer winning the Battle Royale...just kidding. Zack Ryder stayed away and then chucked him over the rope.
Some lady is interviewing Zack Ryder...who's in his Woo Woo Woo headband and an orange jacket. Zack makes the most of his opportunities, basically. You know it. I wish he just talked longer than the commercial that followed it, as he only talked for eighteen (18!) seconds. -_-
Burchill's poed...and it's Gregory Helms, who tries to interview Katie Lea. Katie Lea says its all his fault, and she rants a bit before Gregory Helms gets mugged by Burchill.
The International Alliance is in action. Yes, I know what they're called, but I like my nickname better.
Ezekiel "Zeke" Jackson and Vladmir Kozlov vs. Dustin Brady (Joe Jobber) and Justin Young (Lenny Loser)
Kozlov and Zeke take the opportunity to wear red and look creepy.
Young and Kozlov lock up. Kozlov flips him and locks in an armlock...basically, Young only gets in a punch before he gets the Battering Ram (that headbutt to the gut). Kozlov boots him into the corner, and Zeke begins clubbing him as he is tagged into the ring. Young is sent into the turnbuckle post..and Brady makes the mistake of tagging him in. Brady is thrown HALFWAY ACROSS the ring, and then gets thrown into the turnbuckle. Kozlov is back in, and he gets Belly-to-Belly Suplexed. Kozlov gives Young a gut kick..."See ya, thanks for coming, bye" - Striker. Brady gets carried to Zeke, who gives him a clothesline with his huge arm. Zeke Bottom for Three.
Young makes the mistake of getting in the ring and gets the Kozlov Choke Bomb. "That's what you get for being a nice guy, kid." - Striker.
Winner: The International Alliance
Rating: 1.5/10
For the flip literally halfway across the ring, only. I'm sick of jobber matches.
The International Alliance runs into Goldust, and Regal lets him know their match on Thursday is a joke, just like the ECW Championship Match tonight and Goldust.
Christian elects to come out first to his ECW Championship Match...why doesn't he have pyro?
ECW Championship Match:
Christian (c) vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder's wearing the UGLIEST pants ever.
They stare around the ring for a little bit before a lockup. Christian backs Ryder into the rope, and Ryder connects on a shoulder block for one.
Another lockup...and Christian is backed into the corner. Ryder pushes off when he goes to back up, and Christian connects on the LOUDEST SLAP EVER.
Another slap from Christian, and he's thrown from his side headlock against the ropes. He connects on a shoulder tackle for one, and then they both get up and stare again.
Knee to the gut, strike to the head, boot to the head, headbutt to the head, punches to the head, knee to the gut...
Christian rallies back a little bit, and Ryder goes back to the knees and the headbutts. He chokes Christian against the bottom rope (Christian was laying on it) before Christian whips him and tries for an arm drag. Ryder counters, but Christian also counters, and he connects on a stepup hurracanrana.
Christian chucks Ryder outside of the ring...and will we see another Flying Crossbody? No. Christian stops on the apron, jumps over Ryder's hand, and then runs back into the ring to soon deliever a Baseball Slide. Christian jumps off of the second rope, and ends up over the top rope and onto Zack Ryder in one fluent motion.
Christian puts Ryder back into the ring for a one, and then bounces his head against the turnbuckle before giving him another slap. Christian steps to the second rope before Ryder picks his ankle and slams him off of the second rope into...
*Commercial*
We come back to Christian using his elbows to get out of a hold before being big back bodydropped for two, and then another two. Christian gets over to the turnbuckle and then delievers a couple of elbows and kicks before a Springboard Sunset Flip for two.
We have a little bit of back and forth running before a dropkick to Ryder. They crawl to the outside of the ring and stand on the apron...before Ryder shoves Christian off of the
apron and onto the steel steps, abdominals first.
Christian is thrown back into the ring, and Ryder gets two before locking in a "leg vise" on Christian. Crowd begins to come alive to free Christian, and Ryder twists his hold, before Christian gives him about five body blows before bouncing off the rope and getting hit with the kitchen sink (knee to the gut) for two. Half suplex onto the top rope, and then Ryder knees Christian for an eventual two. More elbows from Ryder. Leg vise again. Ryder gives him some headbutts to make this hold look stronger. Christian gets out, though. Ryder heads to the second rope, and gets caught into a Flapjack from Christian.
Christian begins a rally of punches, and another slap. Bounce off the rope to a clothesline. Ryder gets caught in 619 position, so Christian stands on his back for three. Christian jumps over the top rope, only to get a knee to his gut and brought back into the ring. Ryder goes for Rough Ryder Legdrop and gets reversed into a Reverse DDT into a Flashpoint for two.
Missle Dropkick from Christian, he goes back up to the ropes and has to hop off, and he almost gets Zack Attacked. Rocket Launcher from Christian, and then another Sunset...no. Ryder stands up and pins him. Ryder runs into the turnbuckle and gets a kick from Christian who has escaped to the apron. Christian hits another missle dropkick for two.
Christian has a red mark that's about four inches long on his abs, and he goes for the KillSwitch but is thrown out of the ring, but Christian quickly gets to the top rope to miss a crossbody and he gets hit with a ROUGH RYDER LEGDROP! ONE, TWO, NO!
Christian tries for a quick Killswitch, but Ryder breaks the hold, picks Christian's leg, and puts both of his feet on the rope, but Ryder only gets two. Ryder bounces off the ropes for a punch, but Christian gives him a reverse rope bounceback. Flying and twisting shoulder from the top, and then a KillSwtich. Three. Ring the bell.
Winner of the Match, and Still ECW Champion: Christian
Match Rati - it's William Regal!
(Way to totally reduce Ryder to jobberdom after a nice match)
Regal comes out and basically says it's a matter of time before he becomes ECW Champion, and he gets an onslaught from Christian for his trouble.
So, the food chain is Christian > Regal > Ryder, even though I'd put Ryder before Regal now.
Match Rating: 6.8 out of 10
Total Show Rating:
14.3 out of 30
It was a very nice show, and it made me think that there is actually hope for ECW. There are stars on the show, and they need to be pushed over the International Alliance (Ruthless Roundtable) as Ryder really came through tonight.
Probably see you next week,
The Philadelphia Phighter
